Stages
by Zaerith Vrinn
Summary: Alone in the dark and the rain, Sentinel Prime runs into a ghost of his past, and she wants to make a deal with him...Emotional


**Author's note: **Though you don't necessarily have to read them, this is a sequel to _"Reassuring Words"_ and _"Only One Wish"_. If you have read them, this one centers on Sentinel and his _true_ thoughts about what happened, why he acts the way he does, and what happens when he meets BlackArachnia. **  
Warning: **Angst, and implied past Sentinel x Elita.

**Disclaimer: **Sentinel doesn't get enough love for a guy who had a realistic reaction to the 'death' of a loved one, even in the series, every episode he's in something happens and he gets damaged/humiliated, if I owned TFA, I'd give the guy a break!

Stages

Over a couple of months visiting Earth and getting reports from Optimus and his crew, Sentinel Prime and accepted that the small organic life forms called 'humans' were not dangerous, and actually pretty harmless. But no matter how friendly they tried to be Sentinel was still uncomfortable when they got too close.

His last encounter with organics would not be forgotten that easily.

_"Elita! We have to go after her!"_

_"Sentinel, get out! There's no time, the place is going to blow!"_

He had tried to leap in after Elita, if he was quick enough he might have been able to reach her. Optimus grabbed him and pulled him back; using his grappling hook he pulled them to safety. The explosion shattered the ground where they had escaped, and with it Sentinel's life as he'd known it.

_"We need to go back for Elita!"_

_"…I'm not picking up her energy signal, she…she's offline."_

He grabbed Optimus and threw him into a near by rock. Devastation made him blind and deaf to what he was doing and saying.

_"This is all __**your**__ fault!!!"_

Sentinel ran a red light. He turned into a one-way lane, of course going the wrong way, barely avoiding hitting, or getting hit by, the people going the right way. He sped up. The memories were painful but he could let them go. He never should have said that. He never should have let any of this happen.

But it did.

It was his punishment.

Sirens sounded and Sentinel sped up some more, letting a chase start until he finally got bored and pulled over for the human law enforcement. The cop stepped out of his vehicle and walked over to Sentinel's window.

"Alrighty sir, did you know that you were going -what the?" he cried seeing the empty driver's seat, "Oh. Oh, I see… _you_ again."

"That's right, I'm back." Sentinel said almost chuckling at the fat blond cop with the mustache, what-ever-his-name-was' exasperated look. His disregard for human traffic laws got this guy's personal attention and Sentinel found it sort of amusing.

"Alright, I'll let you off on this one again, Mr. Elite Guard, but if you keep it up I _am_ going to start giving you tickets." The cop said, "God, _this_ is why I _hate_ machines."

The blue Prime revved his engine, "And _this_ is why _I _hate organics." He countered.

They were both silent for a moment, then a mutual amusement caused them both to chuckle softly. The cop patted his hood, and the Elite Guard Commander honked a warning. _No-touchie_. Sentinel drove off careful to stay on the right side of the road and even put up a hologram of a man in the front seat.

Though neither of them would admit it they kind of liked each other, maybe if they'd been the same race they would have been friends, even if they hadn't bothered to learn each other's names quite yet. But, as it was, the Chief of Police wanted nothing to do with machines (let alone intelligent sentient ones) and Sentinel would rather face down an army of Decepticons on his own then even think about life as an organic.

So the conceited Prime drove on. A droplet of rain splashed against his windshield that was quickly followed by another, and another, until water made it impossible for his hologram to be seen. Sentinel activated his windshield wipers, even though he didn't really need them to drive, it was kind of fun to have them wash the water down the front of his hood.

_Elita would have liked rain…_ he thought dismally. _There are a lot of things about this planet she would have liked…_

Perhaps he was being a bit unfair to the humans for being organic, but he couldn't help it, he'd changed so much since he, Optimus, and Elita had entered Autobot Academy those long stellar cycles ago, he doubted the spunky femme would even recognize him the way he was now.

Had Sentinel known he was about to get an unexpected and quite unpleasant visit from a ghost of his past he would have turned left at the next intersection instead of continuing straight.

The first sign he received was a reading on his scanners of an organic life form. Originally he'd thought it was a human he'd past on the street, but as he continued to drive Sentinel's scanners continued to alert him of organic matter. Studying it closer he realized the signal was coming from something ahead of him rather than anything he was passing

Sentinel's spark pulsed. Whatever it was, it was defiantly not _human_.

He turned on the next possible street following the reading, trying to catch it. For a moment he lost it and briefly thought he should call other members of the Elite Guard for back up. The signal reappeared and Sentinel noticed something else about it…something familiar…

Forgetting about the Elite Guard he started after it again, going passed the speed limit. He was so close, it was practically in front of him…but nothing was there…

Sentinel slowed to a stop. "Strange…" He said, "I should be right on top of it…"

He looked around. There weren't even human's on this road. This entire section of the city was closed off for repair, and at this time of night not even construction workers were out and about. Heaving a mechanical sigh he transformed and made a closer inspection of the abandoned alleyways.

Nothing.

_Must be a glitch_. He thought, _I haven't had my systems checked in a while._

It had stopped raining, Sentinel noticed. Lights on the street made the road glitter in places where they reflected in the water. He sat down on the sidewalk, he probably should go back and report in, but he didn't want to. Optimus would be there.

_"I'll never forgive you Optimus! I never want to talk to you again, I hate you!"_

The words echoed in his mind. Regret made his spark heavier than usual. He didn't mean it, he never did, and he never should have said them. Sentinel knew that when he'd shouted at Optimus in Ultra Magnus' office, he'd just been scared, angry and confused, but that didn't give him the right to mouth-off like that. Optimus would forgive him if he asked, but…

"I don't deserve to be forgiven…" he said miserably, "I won't let him forgive me until I forgive myself…"

His systems went crazy alerting him of organic matter that Sentinel was sure wasn't there. "Stop that!" He ordered giving the sensors a good whack. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts, not be disturbed by an error in his circuitry. The reading only became clearer, Sentinel hit it again and finally just transformed ready to just drive off and away from the mysterious signal.

"For being on the Elite Guard you certainly don't keep a very good guard." A voice said Sentinel jumped, almost transforming when something dropped on him. Something big.

And organic.

"Wha?- Hey!" he cried, overcoming his surprise he managed to transform into robot mode, and throw the intruder off him. The Elite Guard Commander whipped out his shield and laser lance, ready to defend himself; but darn-near dropped them both seeing what had attacked him.

_"Come on guys, we've come this far! Give me one good reason why we leave."_

Spiders, much like the one before him now, had dropped around them. Sentinel shook his head clear of the memory. No way, according to their geographical survey of the planet; Earth had no creatures like this anywhere. None _this_ size anyway. That could only mean that it came from somewhere else…

"Now, now," the spider said in a feminine voice, "Is that anyway to treat a lady?" To Sentinel's surprise and horror the spider began to transform. _Transform_. It was almost too much to look at as parts of the spider melted together, shifted, interweaved, bended, and squished into a bipedal shape. The now transformed spider stepped into the light. Something flashed in the four red eyes she had. Recognition. "Sentinel…" She breathed.

At this point Sentinel did drop his effects, recognition flickered in his optics too, but so did doubt and denial. No way, it wasn't possible.

_"I'm not picking up her energy signal she…she's offline…"_

"…El..i..ta…?" he said slowly, unsure if he was dreaming or not.

"N-no," The femme said turning away, "Y-you must be mistaken, I-I'm Black… BlackArachnia…" She said, but the tremor in her voice gave the truth away.

"Y-you're…Alive…" This was awkward, she had just come back from the dead in his mind, and he doubted that she had _planned_ to get the jump on him like this. "You're _alive_…" he repeated in disbelief

"Yes, I'm alive," She snapped turning back around, "no thanks to _you_." her voice was hard, full of pain, and anger.

Fear grew in Sentinel, making him cold inside and frozen where he stood. What could he say to her? How could he let Elita know how much her death had changed him? How much had _she_ changed? He was afraid he'd say the wrong thing, and lose her all over again.

Elita, -or was it BlackArachnia that she was calling herself?- stepped closer to him "You're trembling." She said raising a hand to his arm.

Suddenly Sentinel caught her hand and pulled her into a tight embrace, to make sure she was real, but just suddenly he pulled away, finding her body to be way too soft beneath his servos. "You're…" he didn't have the spark to say it out loud.

"Organic." She said for him, the reality of things dawned on him as she explained what had _truly_ happened that day, his optics lowered to the Decepticon insignia on her throat, then back to the four eyes on her face. "I…" BlackArachnia whispered turning away from him. "I swore that day that I would never trust an Autobot again…"

Sentinel reached out to clasp her shoulder, but his hand was quaking, any reassurance it could have given would have been lost, so he let it drop back to his side. He wanted to say something, but the words in his mind were the cold accusations he'd yelled at Optimus the day of the accident. Anger boiled up and replaced the fear that had kept him frozen just moments before.

"If you _survived_," He growled between his teeth, pain and anger mixing in his voice, sounding hoarse as the words escaped his mouth before his processor thought about their consequences, "why didn't you come back? Why didn't you contact us to let us _know_?" Still shaking Sentinel grabbed her arm and forced her to look at him, regretting it instantly.

Liquid was forming at the corners of her eyes, bubbling over. BlackArachnia's body trembled as she tried to hold back tears, but they slid down her cheek as words croaked from her throat. "I…I n-never wanted anyone to see me like this…especially_ you_." She leaned forward into his chassis sobbing.

Sentinel flinched slightly when she touched him. His anger turned inward as his words to her haunted him, just as they had when he snapped at Optimus. Cautiously he put his arms around the half-organic femme whose death had once destroyed him.

But was it less painful that Elita One was alive, now that he knew what _really_ happened?

BlackArachnia's sobs slowed and her voice trembled only slightly as she pushed away from him and spoke. "So…" she inquired looking him in the optics. "Why did you just _leave_ me?"

There was anger in her words, but Sentinel recognized the sadness and pain that it masked. They had been in every word he'd spoken to Optimus since the day in Ultra Magnus' office.

Sentinel looked at the ground, not sure how to explain himself. "When I saw you down there, with the spiders surrounding you I…I was going to jump down to help you, but Optimus said there wasn't time." BlackArachnia flinched at Optimus' name, "He grabbed me and pulled me out, just before the place blew to oblivion."

"And you didn't come looking for me?" She hissed.

Sentinel looked up, BlackArachnia, whose four eyes had previously fixed on the ground as well, met his gaze. "When the explosion ended I said we should go back, Optimus told me you were off-line and we…" he trailed off, at this point things got a little fuzzy after all his desperate attempts to block the incident from his memory, "We got in a fight. The last thing I remember before waking up on the way back to the Academy was Optimus hitting me in the head."

His face was wet. Not from tears like BlackArachnia's, but from falling water, it was raining again. Before, the rain seemed beautiful, but now it only made this reunion even more dismal, like the sky itself was crying at this tragic tale. Sentinel hated the inconstancy of the climate. Why couldn't it just stay one weather condition?

It was quite all of a sudden. Sentinel opened his mouth to start up the conversation again, but a voice not his own broke the silence.

"…-Fst- Ul…a Mag…s -fsst- Se…el Prime. Ultra Magnus to Sentinel Prime. Do you Copy? Sentinel Prime?"

For the first time Sentinel ignored his leader, right now he wanted to know if he had Elita's forgiveness. BlackArachnia on the other hand almost seemed relieved that Sentinel was on call. "You'd better go." She said, turning away once more, and once more the blue mech grabbed her arm to make her look at him.

"Come with me." He said, "Elita One or BlackArachnia, Autobot or Decepticon, what happened to you was partially my fault for ever taking you to that planet. It's only right that I have a part of returning you to normal. As a part of the Elite Guard I swear, we'll find a cure."

BlackArachnia looked at him in silence for a moment, old emotions that she had locked away flashed in her eyes, but then she closed them to hide the feeling again as she leaned her head into Sentinel's chassis again, "No," she said in a soft voice, "I'm _never _returning to the Autobots like _this_." She looked back up at him staring him in the optics, "Despite what may think, Elita One died that day, and the only thing that can bring her back is the power of the Allspark."

Sentinel lowered his gaze, understanding why she wouldn't come back, but then another thing she'd said clicked in his mind. "'Despite what Optimus thinks'?" he repeated, "What do you- You mean… Optimus knows what happened to you!?"

Again things went quite. Sentinel thought it was because BlackArachnia was trying to find the easiest way to tell him what she meant.

But in reality the techno-organic femme was searching for some way to turn the fact that Optimus had not told Sentinel of her existence to her advantage.

When you work with Decepticons, you learn to think like them.

She smiled, trying to look sweet and innocent, "You mean Optimus never even _mentioned_ me to you? Didn't even _try_ to steer the conversation that way?" Sentinel shook his head. Never. "Its true," She continued, "I went to see Optimus, and I told him what happened, but it's not what you think."

"What is it?" he asked.

"I've been suffering through the humiliation of been half-organic for 1000 stellar cycles, and as I've heard, _you_ were the only one of the two of you that even _thought_ to go back for me." She said breaking away from Sentinel and turning her back so that he wouldn't see the malice in her eyes. "When I went to Optimus, it was to let him know that I would never forgive him, and now that I know he didn't tell you that you were right, it's time to take things to the next level." She turned back to let him see her pain and anger, "I'm going to _kill_ him." She said.

Her words struck the Elite Guard Commander like a plasma shot to the chest plate. "N-no." he said, "Y-you can't kill Optimus! It wasn't his fault!"

BlackArachnia walked back over to him, "If I recall correctly, Optimus was the one you said didn't even _try_ to come back for me. Don't you think that, knowing if it hadn't been for Optimus you could have had enough time to reach me; that is grounds to be angry?" The spider asked.

Sentinel looked away from her, in the direction of the power plant which Optimus and his crew of misfits were using as headquarters. "Yeah, it is." He agreed, but rather than feeling angry he felt confused. His spark had experience enough for one night; he needed time alone to sort out what he really felt.

Suddenly she clasped on of his hands with hers and brought his fingers to her face. "Then why don't _you_ come with _me_. We both have scores to settle, why not do it together?"

Once again Sentinel was thrown for a loop. Had she just asked him to leave the Elite Guard in favor of killing Optimus? "I…I can't." he said, BlackArachnia wasn't the only one who had been trying to forget old feelings, "He's my best friend…"

BlackArachnia's eyes narrowed, "Best friend? Hah! If he was your friend at all he would have told you about me wouldn't he? The only 'best' he is, is being the best hypocrite!"

"Elita!" Sentinel cried. He couldn't believe what she was saying, what she was requesting, what the impact of it would be and….

And that part of him was actually considering her offer.

Thunder rumbled, wind began to rush, and rain fell harder. A storm was on its way.

"Yes or no Sentinel." She growled, "Answer! Will you join me or not?"

Sentinel stared at the ground; the weight of his decision was a heavy burden. He wanted to say yes, and be with her again, but his own conscious nagged him at all the awful things he's said to Optimus over the last 1000 stellar cycles. Things he knew weren't true. Something the femme before him said came back to him.

"You're right," he said, glancing back up at her again. She smiled thinking he meant that he would join her, "Elita One never made it out of those caverns, if you,_ BlackArachnia_, want me to do this, you're going to have to find a better excuse for me to do it."

BlackArachnia glared at him, hurt that he'd rejected her, but before she could say or do anything else he suddenly embraced her and her cold-sensitive organic matter was warmed by the heat radiating off his spark.

"I _swear_, not as and Elite Guard Commander, but as the mech who loved Elita, and was responsible for what happened, I'll find away to bring her back…" he whispered in her audio sensor, "Even if I have to leave the Elite Guard and do it on my _own_."

In his arms, BlackArachnia laughed to mask the tears Sentinel could not see, "Responsible? Didn't I already tell you, you were not responsible?"

"_I'm_ the one who took us to that planet and insisted that we kept going. By all accounts it _was_ my fault." He explained.

BlackArachnia pushed away from him and shook her head. Her tears were invisible in the darkness and the rain, but her glowing red eyes were visible and Sentinel could see the anger in them.

"As I recall, _I_ was just as eager about finding the Decepticon warship as you were," she said, the black spider legs emerging from her back began to glow, "and I'll leave you to remember why we went down there in the _first place_!"

The legs lashed out and struck Sentinel Prime full in the chest. He cried out in pain and surprise before the venom BlackArachnia carried spread though his systems and forced him unconscious.

He fell backwards to the ground, almost lifeless, a single twitch of his finger let the Autobot defect know that she had not overdone it. Sentinel's transmission went off as Ultra Magnus once again called for the Prime to report in, in the old Autobot's voice there was an increased sound of worry.

BlackArachnia crawled onto Sentinel's chassis and disconnected to transmission, she then crept over his chest plating 'till she was nose to nose with his face.

"I used to love you," She said, even though she knew he could not hear her, perhaps it was because he could not hear her that she spoke. The femme formally known as Elita One, placed her lips on the Elite Guard Commander's cheek for a quick peck before she stood up again. "I think I still do... Please don't make that change."

When Sentinel awoke she was gone.

**Author's note: **I _know_ I'm not the only one who likes Sentinel as a character, but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who likes Sentinel and Elita as a title "Stages" is reference to the Five Stages of Death, which if you look carefully is how Sentinel reacts to finding out about BA (just look: Denial, fear, anger, bargaining, and acceptance). This fic and _Ruins_ (The sequel) are supposed to be the most emotional in the four one-shots I'm writing. Thanks for reading and please review.

**Editor's note: **I made the mistake of reading that while listening to depressing music, which is not good for my editing skills so please excuse anything I may have missed. I too hope you enjoyed this and will leave nice reviews… I don't think I need to use any real threats just yet, but if you make any flames I _will_ go into bitch-mode.


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